Pet Rock

So, I love rocks right. Like really really love them, and I thought I could not be more committed to them. I live and breathe rocks starting from the time I stumble into my bathroom with its marble topped counters littered with crystals and shells collected over the years (need I mention the rest of the house), to my geologist job where there are all things earthy, dusty and aged in the order of millions, to the rock on my finger. No one could love rocks more right? Wrong!! Heard about a “pet rock”?

Well, we have a pet at home whom we love dearly. Timone. He is a year old poodle that we got for our two kids, he doesn’t listen, he pees everywhere, he stops to poop when I take him for walks (embarrassing sometimes for me holding his leash while he’s doing his business and someone happens along), he gets sick sometimes, he’s Sir-farts-a-lot (though I sincerely believe half those Airwick-worthy (www.airwick.co.za) moments are thanks to the boys), he hides bones everywhere in the house and he is a licker. Going for holidays is never fun when I imagine poor little Timone in a kennel all alone wondering why I left him with strangers. But I love him to bits, and he loves me too.

Along came Mr. Dahl with the “pet rock”… I kid you not. A pet rock. “In April 1975, Dahl was in a bar listening to his friends complain about their pets. This gave him the idea for the perfect "pet”: a rock. A rock would not need to be fed, walked, bathed, or groomed; and would not die, become sick, or be disobedient. He said they were to be the perfect pets, and joked about it with his friends but he took the idea seriously…. (Wikipedia). Interesting concept. It actually took off with a bang and made Mr. Dahl a rich man and gave many a lonely person a companion who is very good at listening and all the lovely qualities of a pet rock.

 

Personifying inanimate objects is not foreign to anyone with a good imagination. We do so to plants or a glass of wine (after downing a couple of cause)…my sister’s friend is known to say “mhoro doro” (loosely translated to’ hello beer’) before taking the first sip of each bottle of her favorite cider. I guess I have 'pet rocks' lining most shelves in my house, I just need to talk to them once in a while.

I still believe I love rocks but if my pet was a rock, would it be cuddly and be all excited when I drive into the garage? Timone is always so excited to see me when I get back home from work. When I step out of the car its like he barely knows what to do with himself with excitement and that makes me feel great. It’s the loveliest feeling of being so missed. It’s like the excitement I see in my son’s face when he is opening a present…. I get to be my pet’s present every single evening and that is awesome.

 

Love on the Rocks

As Valentine's Day 2015 approaches, those in love, with crushes, infatuation, like etc. get to express their romantic feelings to the object of their affection. Moms like me also get little cards and butterfly kisses from their lovely children. It is a day to celebrate indeed. Now how about the ones whose "love is on the rocks"? Tacky hey? Well, this blog is about rocks (smiley).

 

Love crushed on the rocks and broke to smithereens.
If you recently broke up (boo hoo), this could be a really sad time. Well, instead of wallowing in self pity, buy YOURSELF a box of chocolate and a big tub of chocolate ice-cream and indulge. You wont get to eat them in a long while, coz from the 15th, you'll need to get on a get-fit regime as you prepare to get back in the game and go fishing.

If you are contemplating breaking up but are not mean enough to do it towards, on or just after valentine's day mmmm that's a bit of a complex one, there is no way out and here's why. If you buy a gift, you give the wrong impression of being in love, if you don't, that pretty much says it all and you are still the bad guy. Ponder away.


Love resting on jagged edged rocks.
If you are in an 'old' relationship and things have gone stale, and you feel like old furniture, well you'll be lucky to get a new blender (or a new garden spade). Seriously, us old folks should be better at this. I for one am still trying to think......it really shouldn't be difficult but it is. My mind is still locked between what makes him more handy around the house, or what makes him more relaxed on the couch...maybe a finger print recognition remote...the kids won't use the remote.....no more complaints from him about a sticky remote....more calm, peace and quiet for mom.

If you are single with no secret admirer, sorry for you, maybe next year. For now, phone the florist and have them deliver something to your office so you wont stick out like a sore thumb.

Rock over Mind

My sister and I were interviewing a couple of ladies the other day as I am currently looking for an au pair for my kids. After the interview with one of the ladies, a very pleasant girl, we informed her that I'd get back to her. To my surprise she told me ("mukasandipa basa iri ndinokuenderayi kumasowe") which is Shona for "if you don't give me the job I'll go pray for you"...and mind you, this is not the kind of prayer one would want over their head. Of course it was a joke and we all fell over with laughter. Needless to say as she was about to go, she put on a serious face and took out a small stone from her bag....to remind me she was serious about her prayer. And again we laughed about it...mine was a nervous laugh this time...

The point is, walking around with the little gem or stone gives her great comfort and belief in that in this case, the interview would go well and that blessings would abound everywhere she goes. The church she goes to has tens of thousands of followers in Southern Africa and if you can just imagine that each member has a little piece of lucky rock kinda like the fabled rabbit's foot, the mind boggles.
Don't get me wrong, I love rocks, but its more like I will clobber them with my hammer now and again, I lick them more often than is necessary, I have them on display in my house and am known to even pick samples from shopping centre rockeries like a klepto...but gees...I am still to have a "lucky rock".
We all need something to believe in don't we? Is simply believing in JC not enough anymore?